I recently had the very good fortune of getting out of an abusive job, with a boss who would leave Gordon Ramsay a few steps behind. While most bosses scream at employees if they o stuff wrong, THIS a****** screams even when you do things exactly how he asked you to! It was my first job, and I left in 4 months flat! (he has a record of no employee staying with him for more than 10 months.. seriously! no exaggeration). The minute I left the place, with just a shameful 4 months of experience to show, and no other job in hand, I did the only sensible thing I could think of.
Celebrations over, back to job hunting…. and hello, unfortunately, the job portal. I have my account on 2 major portals, but I’m pretty sure every one has the same format of annoying people, with a change in font and colour. It begins with signing up for an account.
You wouldn’t be wrong in assuming you’re being interrogated by the police. Name, address, phone number, email, current and past employment details, education details, STOP!!!.. I swear, the first time I saw it, I sat in my chair for a full three minutes wondering if its worth the effort. The only thing they haven’t asked me is the colour of my undies!
As if the huge form isn’t enough, they have the audacity to ask me my resume. Why do they need it? They’ve already asked for all the details! If anybody working for such a portal can answer this, I’d be very happy. The resume is, of course, not according to their upload format, so now we remove all the effort to show our personality through our resume by customizing it, and upload a bland looking document that says exactly what I’ve been filling in their damn form for over an hour.
After taking a few breaks and finally getting the form filled, the account has been created. Whew! Problem solved right?… quite far from it! Maybe I’m personally cursed, or maybe their algorithms are pathetic, but I can’t get a single job recommendation according to the criteria I’ve set. I ask for jobs specifically in Mumbai, and i get Pondicherry, Trichy, Secunderabad, Lucknow, Kanpur, Ernakulam, Simla, Karnal and, hold your breath, BOTSWANA! Where are these places?! The hell is wrong with these people?
Speaking of their bad job recommendations, I also get a lot of jobs that need an experience of over 5 years. What are you taunting me now? I’ve got a measly 4 months and you’re gonna show me a lot of lovely jobs that are waaay beyond my reach? That’s just cruel you know. I also don’t understand why do job portals only send me jobs based on what I’ve done, and this is a common complaint with friends too. An accounts professional will get nothing but accounts jobs and a programmer in 1 domain will get the same kind of job. How about sending jobs that people WANT to do rather than ones they’ve ALREADY DONE and want to get away from?
A feature that I have long wished to be included on job sites is a ‘surprise me’ button, that will give a random job to you. I have a higher chance of getting a good job with a ‘surprise me’ button than with hours of meticulous searching and applying. The ones where I’ve applied haven’t so much as reverted back. I wonder if those guys aren’t sending them my applications because I haven’t purchased their premium services…
May the Gods of jobs show mercy and give me a job soon, or I might just open a job portal of my own! The existing ones seem to be making money without much work as it is